My hobbies include breaking hearts and beating high scores. I also enjoy cross stitch, Golden Girls, anthropomorphic taxidermy and vintage science fiction. Chances are my heart is ten sizes too big. I promise it's not a medical condition.

... I'm really bad at this internet dating stuff.

Oh. And also, I'm Canadian.

Honestly? (Because that's what we're doing here, right?) I'm 33 and I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing with my life. Like. Not even a little bit. I'm currently working on my Plan C... which isn't really all that well thought out, let's be real.

Taking long naps, playing video games for 12 hours straight without moving, unintentionally making things weird, totally intentionally making things weird, knowing stupid pop culture trivia at the drop of a hat, making killer brownies... and that's about it. I sort of suck at being people.

Why should I rank the things I like? I mean, that's putting a value on things that are invaluable. Just because I like one thing doesn't necessarily mean I like another one any less. I'm not going to undervalue anything that I like. That would be rude.

Some of my favorite writers are HP Lovecraft, Tom Robbins, Haruki Murakami, Isaac Asimov, Philip K Dick, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Chuck Klosterman, Christopher Moore, Ernest Cline, Jason Latour, Matt Fraction, Joe Hill, Kelly Sue DeConnick, Ed Brubaker... now I'm talking about comic books, whoops.

My brain is basically a neverending catalog of horror and science fiction movies, but I also have a soft spot for Lifetime Originals and old black and white movies.

Pretty much anything that you can find on SyFy, A&E, AMC, or Investigation Discovery. Or Netflix. Which is pretty much everything. I really like TV, okay.

Loud punk rock, dancey ska, thrashy metal, 80s hair bands, folksy indie bullshit. Basically a little bit of everything, as long as it's not EDM or that top 40 country garbage. Toby Keith can go walk into traffic.

Tacos. Basically all tacos and anything taco related. Taco pizza, taco salad, breakfast tacos, dessert tacos, Tacocat... I celebrate Taco Tuesday like it's a fucking religious holiday. I mean, I love food in general, though, but there's a special place in my heart for tacos. Also, why is food in this category?

Goddamnit, I'm really fucking terrible at this.

My iPhone... Because really, who can't live without their goddamn cell phone these days? And it eliminates the need for so many other things. Plus there's GrubHub and Postmates and Drizly. Oh, and also, the charger, they're a package deal.

My XBox. And the controller. And the fucking television. I'm onto your game.

Cozy sweaters.

Chapstick.

Toilet paper.

Yes, I am fully aware of how much I cheated my way through this and no, I don't care.

Aliens, conspiracy theories, the things that are happening in Boston and how fucking weird shit can get, if my cat is going to kill me while I'm sleeping or not, linguistic and semiotic anthropology, since I'm working on a Masters thesis in the most useless topic, and why the fucking Blue Shell exists.

Figuring out how to cause some sort of trouble. Or hanging out with my live in boyfriends, Don Julio and Cat, playing video games or watching a movie. ... I'm pretty sure I was supposed to put something about going out with friends here.

I haven't managed to scare you off by now and you're a glutton for punishment, probably.